The other night I was sitting in my twin daughter’s Christian school gym for parent night (after 4 years of doing school at home), and boy was it enlightening! But probably not for the reasons you’re thinking.

The “good girl” in me was sitting up straight, making eye contact, nodding along, and trying desperately to be a perfect part of the system.

While the “other” side of me was thinking… “WTAF am I doing here?” 😳

Questioning the Traditional School System

Nothing against this specific school… It’s a good choice and I’m grateful for it. What rubs me the wrong way is the fundamental idea of school as a whole.

The idea that kids need to sit 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, to “learn.”

And, even if you don’t have 7 hours of work to do, you still need to be at that desk for 7 hours just to check the box that proves you are “good” because you do as you are told and don’t make waves.

I’m sorry (#notsorry), but I fundamentally don’t buy into that. I believe learning (and working) can happen in a relaxed environment just as well, if not better, than in a structured one.

But then, my conditioning crept in…

You’re just lazy. You’re holding the girls back. They have to live in the “real world.” They’ll never learn structure if you don’t force them into it.

The voice that makes me question myself. Maybe I am too lax. Maybe I am setting them up for failure. Maybe I just don’t wanna wake up at 6am, but it doesn’t mean they don’t need to.

Or maybe… the whole system is built to serve A purpose… just not necessarily OUR purpose?! 🤔

So, I asked myself, “What is school really reaching?”

And my subconscious immediately answered…

To conform. To not question authority. To abandon critical thinking. To go along to get along.

Don’t make waves. Don’t follow your intuition if it doesn’t match the rules. Look how you’re supposed to look. Act how you’re supposed to act. Do what you’re supposed to do.

And for whose benefit? Who is it REALLY serving? Is it serving the kids? The parents? The jobs that employ the parents? Society? God?

Except, wasn’t Jesus actually a rebel, too?

He thought differently. He flew in the face of authority. He challenged the systems of His time and reminded us that God is within us… Not found in following a curated list of rules or sitting in a place for a certain amount of time just to say you did.

This Isn’t Just About School

As you can probably tell by now, this rant isn’t just about school (shocking, right?! 🤭)

It’s about conditioning as a whole. The layers we’ve all been covered in since birth.

What food we’re supposed to eat. What clothes we should wear. What jobs are considered “respectable.” What relationships are deemed “acceptable.”

But who gave anyone the authority to decide what’s right and what’s wrong for me… or for you?

Choosing Radical Authenticity

It only took me 35+ years (#slowlearner), but nowadays my ultimate goal in life is to be SO. FUCKING. AUTHENTIC. to my core that I no longer question (or apologize for) who I am or what I stand for.

And that doesn’t mean preaching to others or trying to convince anyone else that I’m right.

It means being solid in how I think. Unshakable in my beliefs… AND also self-aware enough to question myself or change my mind when new evidence presents itself.

But ultimately able to see through the conditioning to MY TRUTH. 😇

Not the truth handed down to me… but the truth that rises up from within me.

Alignment Over Approval

It’s the kind of alignment where I’d rather suffer judgment of others than go against it.

Perhaps a similar feeling to what Jesus’s disciples felt… the ones who were willing to give up their lives rather than deny Him. Because for them, maybe it hurt more to be out of alignment than it did to just “go along to get along.”

THAT’S what I actually want for myself and for my girls!

To know the difference between conditioning and truth. 🙌

To see through the layers that were never ours to carry.

To find our own alignment with God, with life, with ourselves…

And to live so damn authentically that there’s never a question about who we are or what we stand for.

And that, to me, is worth far more than perfect grades or honor roll.

Because when you honor yourself, your path, and your purpose… You don’t need an antiquated system to tell you you’re a “good girl” because you know in your core that you aren’t just good, you’re aligned AF. 💫